Clinging
Clinging creates tension because it flies in the face of change.
When we cling, we presuppose it’s possible for things to always stay the same. We want things to stay the same – our possessions, our lovers, perfect moments, our job or good fortune. So we close up around it. We try to suspend time and life to keep what we like in place.
Or we cling to the hope that bad things won’t happen – that time and the natural entropy of life won’t take away the things we’re attached to and those we love.
But the natural change that life exacts is relentless and constant. The healthy become sick, and the sick become healthy. Money comes, then it goes. Houses that are built to last eventually crumble and are demolished. Luck comes and then it goes. Moods change. Empires rise and fall. Life itself, as precious as it is, is eventually lost.
So then, in all this churning of constant change, to cling to anything is to create suffering for ourselves. In wiser moments, most of us know this, and we accept it. ‘That’s life,’ we say.
But as much as we might accept loss and suffering as a fact of life, when it comes to meditation, we are not as accepting. We meditate in the hope that good things will happen – that we’ll have the blissful feeling we had yesterday. Or that we’ll experience bliss soon. Or, alternately, we meditate in the hope that it will free us from pain and angst – that it will heal us and make us whole.
Whatever it is, it’s the same thing – it’s clinging. And clinging is a fearful state, however subtle. It’s either the fear of not getting what we want, or fear of getting what we don’t want.
Any kind of fear is anathema to meditation. Fear creates tension in the mind and in our body and removes any potential for stillness to arise.
Our problem is, we’ve been born into a culture that encourages clinging of all kinds. We’re conditioned to win what we desire, then defend and cling to what we’ve won, and keep on winning. We’re conditioned to cling to pleasure and avoid discomfort, and we’re used to getting instant results – take a pill and pain goes away. Flick a switch and light goes on. Turn on a tap and water appears.
And we accept this conditioning as normal because everybody else is doing the same thing. So we’re used to the anxiety it creates in us – simply because we don’t know any better. After all, it’s the life we’ve been born into.
And this is why many of us find meditation quite difficult when we begin. We suffer in meditation, because with our conditioned expectations of instant satisfaction coupled with our fear of not getting what we want, right away we’re behind the eight ball, because it reeks of tension and clinging. And as I said, stillness will never respond to a clinging mentality, because we’re trying to meditate with an anxious and needy state of mind.
As I’ve said before, our primary purpose in meditation is learn how to let go.
Let go of what?
Let go of everything … pain, pleasure, happiness, bliss, anger, sadness, brilliance, the past, the future, worries, dreams, aspirations. For the time you’re meditating, let go of everything. It doesn’t matter if it’s pleasurable or not – let it go. That’s the practice.
A thought arises?
As soon as your attention connects with it, let go. Return your attention to the breath,
Your attention goes to an itch, a twinge, an ache or a flush of pleasure?
Let go. Return to the breath.
The breath is the only thing we cling to – for the moment.
So why do we let go of everything? Why can’t we just let go of the bad stuff, while clinging to the good stuff?
Well, because whether good or bad, our deeper, habituated mind doesn’t discriminate. Clinging is a habit – and habits don’t recognize ‘good’ or ‘bad’. They simply register that a certain action is taken. So if we’ve got an instinctive habit of clinging to things, no matter whether good or bad, the mind will naturally reinforce the habit.
That’s why in meditation we practice letting go of everything – even, eventually, the breath and the conscious act of letting go itself. And stillness comes. Until it goes. When we start all over again, letting go of everything, and returning to the breath.
That’s the practice
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Roger’s book, ‘BEING STILL – MEDITATION THAT MAKES SENSE’ is available now. Just click on the links below:
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