It’s All Drugs
Question:
Hi Roger … I like your blog and I bought the audio course a couple of years ago. I still have difficulty practicing meditation though and part of the reason is I’m not sure why I’m practicing. This is because you often say let go of everything whether it feels good or bad. For me this creates confusion because in my mind, surely the whole reason I’m meditating is to feel good? So I just don’t understand why you’re saying to let go of it.
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I think there’s two things to consider here:
- When I say ‘let go’, I’m not saying ‘stop’. I’m saying don’t cling to anything, whether it feels good, or bad.
If you feel good, that’s fine. Allow yourself feel good until you don’t. But when the good feeling passes away, as it will – then let it go without a look back. Don’t pine for it or try to make it stay, and don’t try to force it to return.
And here’s the thing – if you can learn to let go of feeling good, it strengthens your habit of letting go, such that when you feel bad you’ll find it easier to let go of that too. - You seem to be dividing your life experience into only two parts – good and bad – when actually there are three parts to life. For sure, there are good and bad times, but in-between there is a middle way – a serene state of balance called equanimity.
Equanimity is where we should be spending most of our time. Not excited one way or the other – but equanimous – calmly aware and ready for anything.
And that’s what meditation trains us to develop.
But let me explain.
All over the media, I hear two key words being used all the time – ‘fun’ and ‘excited’. In our culture these two qualities are extolled as optimum states to reach for – the implication being that we should be having fun all the time, and be excited all the time.
So it’s understandable that when ‘fun’ and ‘excitement’ are missing from what we do, we feel as if something is wrong. We feel flat. We’re bored. Which is when we reach for something – anything, to re-stimulate us, and amp us up again. To make us ‘feel good’. And we use a huge range of ways and means to get us into these enhanced states – from sport to television, work, music and entertainment, coffee, tea and all kinds of recreational drugs.
But any kind of excitement, whether it’s the ‘good’ excitement of fun and elation, or the ‘bad’ excitement of anger and sadness – any kind of excitement is when one or other of the many hormones our body produces, is being made to work overtime – to produce that amped up state. And that is not what our body is designed for.
The human body creates over 50 different hormones to regulate our body processes, as well as stimulate or soothe certain functions. In effect, they are drugs, just like any of our artificial drugs. And, like any drug addict, we’ve become addicted to some of these hormones – most notably adrenaline, dopamine and endorphins. But because our culture accepts this addiction as ‘normal’ we don’t realize it.
Let’s quickly look at these drugs:
Adrenaline plays a crucial role in the body’s “fight-or-flight” response – though, with our predilection for excitement, we like to use it to have fun. Consider how we feel after a horror movie or a carnival ride – the increased heart rate, the expanded sense of physicality and energy, and our increased awareness. We feel so alive!
Then there’s Dopamine, which is associated with feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. When we engage in activities that we enjoy, particularly social activities, we get a dose of dopamine. We feel energized and optimistic. And when dopamine levels are lower than we’re used to, we feel depressed. Unfortunately, one of the easiest ways we have of stimulating dopamine is social media – for example, each time you receive a like, comment, or notification, your brain releases a dose of dopamine, creating a pleasurable feeling. Hence our addiction to ‘doom scrolling’. Same with the addiction to playing on poker machines
Then there’s Endorphins, our main addiction. These are chemicals usually produced by the body to relieve pain and create a feeling of well-being. We get them from pushing ourselves during exercise to trigger what’s called the ‘runner’s high.’ Or we get it from various stimuli, like music or fun or excitement, or when we make love. Or we get them from most illegal drugs, from heroin to cocaine to marijuana.
So essentially, whether we feel good or feel bad, it’s all drugs of one kind or another. And each of these hormone/drugs brings its own reality – adrenaline makes us feel we can conquer the world. Dopamine makes us feel elated. Endorphins make us feel cozy and comfortable.
Trouble is, once the hormone is metabolized our body must be stimulated to generate more of it – which means repeating the activity we use to stimulate it, whether its drugs, pokies, television, over-exercise, or even rage and violence. Result being, we keep on with these compulsive activities until, eventually the body adapts and stops creating the hormones we’re addicted to – whereupon we crash.
An example of this is what’s known as ‘dopamine exhaustion’ – a condition that results from excessive pleasure. It’s that horrible flat feeling when we’ve binge-watched TV, or overeating, or prolonged use of social media and video games, or any of the activities we use to get our hit. Where our dopamine excess had us feeling incandescently happy and alive, when it runs out we feel depressed, exhausted and mentally confused.
So here’s my point.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to feel good, excited, or have fun. Not at all. When elation and excitement happen, well, that’s one of life’s pleasures. But when the moment is over, if it leaves us pining for more, then we’ve got a problem – because it means we’re not comfortable with simply being alive – without the boost of hormonal jet fuel we’re used to.
As I said before – there is a middle way between ‘good feelings’ and ‘bad feelings’ – an unexcited state of balance where the mind and body are calm and composed – where we’re not being altered by one hormone or the other. And the only way to reach that middle place is to let go of everything to either side of it – the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’. Only then can we be still in mind and body – brilliantly aware and ready for anything.
But in the environment we live in, where expectations of constant excitement and fun are the norm, we are not used to the stillness of this middle way.
So that’s why we practice meditation – to train the mind to let go of everything that usually gets us amped up and excited, one way or the other. To be still. In the middle. And be comfortable in the middle, being still.
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Roger’s book, ‘BEING STILL – MEDITATION THAT MAKES SENSE’ is available now. Just click on the links below:
AUDIOBOOK (including ebook & MP3 exercises) – AUD $25.00
Thank you, this is the motivation I need to keep practicing
Excellent. Treat it like gym for the mind