The Trap of Wondrous Meditation Experiences
“Hi Roger … I notice in your book you deal with the presence of pain and anxiety and the lack of calm that most of us experience in meditation, but you don’t describe the stillness that is surely the goal of meditation. So my question is, why don’t you talk more about the good things that come out of meditation?”
And my reply:
You’re right, I do address the difficulties of meditation practice more than I do the rewards – for good reason.
When most people begin practicing meditation, the problems come in roughly four main areas.
- Their attention keeps losing itself in thinking.
- They discover layers of tension in their body they had not been aware of before.
- They become aware of emotional reactions they had not expected.
- They find it difficult to keep going as conditioned reactions of boredom, expectation and frustration arise.
And that’s all well and good. If they keep using the meditation methods to pass through these things, they’ll eventually settle and stillness will begin to happen.
But it’s here that we meet the most dangerous hindrance.
You see, the first experiences of stillness are quite divine, even unworldly, and can be quite intoxicating, such that we fall in love with them. Result being, we cling to the stillness because we don’t want it to stop. We think we’ve succeeded. We think ‘at last, I’m here, this is meditation!’. We think we’ve reached a higher state … and so on.
And this is the point where our meditation practice is in most danger of being destroyed.
Because, as wonderful as this new experience is, in reality, it’s not at all meaningful. Nor is it exceptional. It’s simply the mind and body being intoxicated by a new experience – because they’ve never experienced the release of stillness before. And if we keep meditating past this experience without clinging to it, over time, the mind and body will adapt to it and the intoxication will pass away. Essentially, we have absorbed the stillness and made it a part of ourselves and our life.
In other words, it’s become ‘normal’.
But if, when the initial experience of stillness arises, we try to cling to it, it will naturally turn into a destructive expectation. We’ll try to make it happen every time we meditate, because we’ve given value to it. This kind of clinging is an innately anxious state that will, ironically, block any potential for stillness to reappear, and deny us the opportunity to integrate it as a part of our sense of being.
And when we get stuck like that – clinging to a frustrated expectation – that’s when doubts arise. Because the more we think we’re failing in our efforts to create the extraordinary experience we had, the more we think we’ve lost the ability to meditate.
And inevitably, as we keep on ‘failing’, we eventually give up.
There are many experiences to be had in meditation, pleasant, unpleasant and mundane – but whether painful, pleasurable, or incredible, none of the experiences we have during meditation are important. Nor are they meaningful. They are like the view outside the window of a moving train – sometimes fascinating, sometimes un-notable – but constantly disappearing. So to cling to any of these experiences is like clutching a fading phantom.
What’s most important is that we keep letting go of everything we experience, and keep moving forward into the unknown, as clean as possible of what’s just happened. In this, we’re practicing a habit of being able to let go of things as easily and instantly as possible. Only then, when we’ve learnt to let go of everything, whether fascinating or not – only then will stillness appear for increasing periods of time.
And it will always appear as a surprise.
For this reason I prefer, in my books and training, to pinpoint the obstacles that lie along the path to stillness, rather than any description of the experience of stillness itself. Because, as indescribable as stillness can be, if I was to describe it, people would start looking for what I’ve described, and their meditation practice would be ruined right from the start.
So remember this – whatever you experience in meditation, whether pleasant, or unpleasant, or mind-blowing – it’s not important – nor is it meaningful. Everything you experience is simply another step on the path, to be experienced then forgotten. Whatever happens, let it go and keep moving forward.
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Roger’s book, ‘BEING STILL – MEDITATION THAT MAKES SENSE’ is available now. Just click on the links below:
AUDIOBOOK (including ebook & MP3 exercises) – AUD $25.00
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